“You won’t realize how bad you truly felt until you start feeling really good.”
Friends who’ve been there done that
I was told this sooooo many times last year. And I was hoping it would one day ring true for me. I had been feeling gross! In the months leading up to my surgery last August, I’ll admit I felt amazingly hellish! But I have an extremely high tolerance for feeling yucky. I grin and bear it. I ignore it. I pray for healing. All the things. And normally I start to feel better and I go about my life as usual. I managed to skip my way past needing to see a doctor for about 10 years. Yay me! But a little over a year ago, things went south quickly. The draggy feeling. The rapid heart rate. The wondering most every day if I was going to just pass flat out with a house full of toddlers under foot. It all become too much to grin and bear.
So I made the doctor appointments. The first one told me I was anemic. As I went to the next doctor to attempt to determine the why, my hemoglobin level had dropped so dramatically I really should’ve had a blood transfusion that day. But the doctor wanted to try to get my level up “naturally” and wanted to wait 48 hours before she’d do a transfusion. What we did worked and, thank You Jesus, I was able to bypass the transfusion…barely. I love bypassing medical procedures!! But the “why” of all this crazy anemic business was clearly my uterus . I needed to start saying my goodbyes to it. The decision wasn’t difficult for me. This month marks the year anniversary of the day I said toodles to my once friendly, life bearing uterus.
As I’ve gradually healed over the last year, that statement so many well-meaning friends shared with me has, indeed, rung true. A year with no cramps. No achy back. No planning my life around all those”days of the month”. A year with energy to move and groove like I haven’t in years. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt so good. When we were in Myrtle Beach a few months ago and we were walking to the pool, it really hit me. And it nearly made me cry. Because I hadn’t dreaded the walk that would end at the poolside cabana. I hadn’t tried to convince my husband why we needed to drive the few blocks to the pool. The walk didn’t wind me or tire me out. I didn’t feel like I was going to D I E !! A year ago I would’ve insisted on driving to this pool. But two or three or even four years ago, I would’ve insisted the same thing. It was in that moment that I realized the “good” I thought I had been feeling all those years wasn’t good at all. I had likely been anemic and ill for many years but I became so used to feeling weak and tired that it was just normal for me. I’m sure I blamed it all on just getting older because , you know, getting old ain’t for sissies and all that! But the truth was , I had just become blinded to my best life and was living a life of settled OK-ness.
Settled Ok-ness is not necessarily OK. Well, not if you truly want to live your best life.
And who doesn’t want that?
So why do we so often settle for the equivalent of the thievery of our “best life” ? John 10:10 says , though, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
The thief here is that pesky devil. He longs to steal our joy. He longs to kill and destroy any and all good we feel or desire. He gets quite the chuckle when we settle for anything in our lives that’s less than God’s best for us…
When we just feel mediocre and declare it “good enough.”
When we’d rather engage with people on social media than face to face because hiding behind a screen seems easier.
When we’d rather sit on the couch and watch TV by ourselves and begin to feel closer to fictional characters than to the real people in our lives.
When gorging ourselves with junk food becomes the norm simply because it’s easy and tastes just fine. So how can it be that bad?
When we do anything in private that we’d never do in the sight of others because we know it’s not right. But if nobody sees you, well….
If our ears could hear things in the spiritual realm around us, I’m certain the uproarious laughter of that evil snake would ring loudly as we continue to live less than our best lives. Why oh why do we give him the satisfaction of joy at our expense?
Can we let that thought make us angry for a sec ? Because if someone came into our home and actually stole something we loved and worked hard to obtain , we’d be beyond angry. Yet, the enemy of our very soul steals from us daily and we just let him ? Can that thought spark enough fire in us that we flip over to recognizing our “best life” things? Because those best things are meant for us. Why? Because Jesus! He’s the “I’ in the verse above and He was the originator of “live your best life”. He came and did His thing so we could live that best life with abundance.
Abundance as in Amply. Bountifully. Comfortably. Copiously. Extravagantly. Fully. Freely. Well. Lavishly. Sufficiently. Thoroughly. Generously.
But do we? Do we live more in that abundance meant for us or do we live in a constant state of less than? I think we all know when our life isn’t quite as on track in all the things as it should be.
We are all just beautiful works in progress, aren’t we?
It’s a good thing our God loves us so greatly. And is so patient with us as we figure out that best life He has prepared for us.
I can’t sit here and tell you what your best life should look like. You can figure that out on your own. Better yet, pray about it and ask the Lord to reveal to you what you need to do to get to that best life! I’ll do the same. And I promise , once we’re there, we’ll never want less !
Until next time…..
Joyfully Clamoring 