If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you may be wondering what’s up with my blog name. It may still feel familiar but you smell something different in here!
I recently had a convicting moment in my bible study time. I was challenged to check my motives in the things I do. Just because our motivations start out good doesn’t mean they will always stay good. It’s probably a good idea that we all step back every now and then and make sure we’re still on the right track!
So I took a look at my blog and stopped to think about why I’ve been so inconsistent in writing. Had my good motives of showing how God was working in my life …of bringing Him glory through my stories somehow changed.
What’s next is a hard to admit,true confession…..
What I discovered was…well…a bit more selfish and less than my original motivation. I mostly was keeping “God touches” in my writing but I learned from the likes and comments and views that the more I wrote about the God things, the less attention my blog got. And the less attention I was getting, the more my motivation to write things became smaller.
Did you catch that? The less attention *I** was getting the more I thought “why bother”! And that’s when it hit me. God didn’t ask me to write to show how fabulous I was or to draw attention to myself. He wanted me to write about how He brings joy and hope and love and all the good things into my life. But when what I wrote , whether it focused more on me or on Him, didn’t get the attention I perceived it needed, I took it all personally and withdrew.
My motivation to write somehow became more “how much attention can I get” rather than simply writing what God put on my heart for His glory not mine.
And for this Jesus loving gal, that was a big old OUCH!
So in an attempt to take any focus off me, I’ve changed the title of my blog from My Clamorous Life to simply “JOYFULLY CLAMORING”. Because I really want this to be more about showing the JOY that comes from living a life out loud for the Lord. A life not so much focused on MeMeMe but on how much fun life can be with Him!
I’m human. And I might fall back into needing all the affirmations. And I might write something that is more about me and less about Him. It could happen. I hope not. Because my true intent is to just share what I feel He wants me to. Period. If that moves someone to respond ,whether that response is just for them or they respond to me, it’s all good. My job is simply to be obedient.
To keep JOYFULLY CLAMORING!