So Happy Tax Day Y’all! Today may find you sitting pretty, spending the giant refund you received back in February because you filed your taxes so stinking early. Are you enjoying that new couch? Have you planned and paid for the perfect summer vacation to paradise? Or you could be biting your nails today hoping you can get it all done before midnight, weighing out the likelihood that you’ll just go ahead and file an extension. Raise your hand if you’ve ever filed an extension and still waited until mid October to get ‘er done! Cue the wah wah music…
I spent my E N T I R E weekend debating whether I should get my taxes done on time or hit that “File an Extension” button looming over on the left side of my TurboTax screen. I mean, it would’ve been much more enjoyable to sit on my couch and binge watch seasons 6 and 7 of Game of Thrones. I like doing things that don’t involve hours of digging through paperwork to prove I really spent “xyz” on this , that and the other. I don’t like mileage logs or documents with number/letter names or any of that jazz. I like having fun on my weekends.
But I put on my big girl pants, grabbed my bottle of Motivate , said a prayer , and commenced on the 10 hour journey to find how much I had to “pay to Caesar”. Oh Jesus, I wish you had said “Then give bubble gum to Caesar because he loves it” or “Then give Caesar a pat on the back for a job well done” or anything else . But scripture is full of references to why we must pay our taxes so journey on fellow American tax payers.
But that’s enough serious tax talk. It is what it is and I figured today we could all use a little bit of humor. I have scoured the Internet and asked Comedian Google for her best Tax Day Jokes. So I now present to you some of the best funnies I found .
- From Jimmy Kimmel…”The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they’ll file my tax return, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you’re at it, too.”
- From Tom Lehrer…”On my income tax form 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away!”
- From some anonymous dude… ” Taxes. Of life’s two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension.”
- Me to Siri…”Hey Siri, tell me a tax joke” Siri………. Again Me to Siri…”Hey Siri, tell me a tax joke” Siri…… All I got was dead air. She had nothing for me.
- Until about 5 minutes later, my phone randomly starts talking to me and Siri finally has a joke. Why don’t koala bears hang around with all the other bears?…Because they don’t meet the Koala-fications.
I guess Siri knows that there’s nothing to joke about when it comes to taxes. So today my tax procrastinating friends, trudge on. Smile whether you want to or not. Find something to be grateful for. Know you’re not alone in your delay. Take a deep breath . Be thankful you have another whole 365 days until you have to do this again! And if you can find that “Check here if you’re blind” box, please let me know if you check it three inches away!